Summary
There are certain areas of application in the Christian walk that almost all people will likely find themselves pondering at some point in their lives, and one such area is making sense of the duty that we as Christians owe our parents, given that their ideas and our ideas will likely not always line up with 100% accuracy. Even though the indignant teenage rebel would probably like to hear otherwise, the Bible is actually clearer on this one than many other important matters of application: we are duty-bound to not only honor our parents, but also to obey them. This first lesson examines the scriptural support for these assertions – sets out to show the high degree of regard we ought to have for our parents and their guidance. Future lessons will inject a bit more nuance into the relationship, making things less clear-cut than the blind obedience that might otherwise reign unopposed as the proper course of action.
Content
Q: I don’t agree with what my parents want for me. Do I need to do exactly what they say?
So, I know one of the ten commandments is to honor my parents, but they drive me crazy and want to pick out my life for me, even though I don’t want what they want for me. What should I do? Do I need to submit myself to them and do exactly as they say? Or can I “honor” them while still choosing my own path?
Some direct quotes from scripture: honoring parents
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long time in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 9 They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
8 My son, listen to your father’s advice. Don’t turn away from your mother’s teaching. 9 What they teach you will be like a beautiful crown on your head. It will be like a chain to decorate your neck.
If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.
If anyone calls down curses on his father or mother, his lamp will be blown out in total darkness.
Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
Listen to your father, who gave you life. Don’t hate your mother when she is old.
The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.
“Some make fun of their fathers. Others laugh about obeying their mothers. The ravens of the valley will peck their eyes out. Then the vultures will eat them.”
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
1 Children, obey your parents as believers in the Lord. Obey them because it’s the right thing to do. 2 Scripture says, “Honor your father and mother.” That is the first commandment that has a promise. 3 “Then things will go well with you. You will live a long time on the earth.”
The Bible is very clear about the importance of giving our parents the respect they are due. It is never presented as “optional” or “just when we feel like it and it suits our purposes.”
Under the Law, arrogant disobedience of one’s parents was grounds for execution (the people of Israel, as God’s nation, were called out for exemplary conduct as bearers of an unattainably perfect standard).
If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.
If anyone calls down a curse on his father or mother, he will be put to death. He has cursed his father or mother. Anything that happens to him will be his own fault.
18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.
18 Suppose someone has a very stubborn son. He doesn’t obey his father and mother. And he won’t listen to them when they try to correct him. 19 Then his parents will take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They will say to the elders, “This son of ours is very stubborn. He won’t obey us. He wastes his money. He’s always getting drunk.”
21 Then all of the people in his town will put him to death by throwing stones at him. Get rid of that evil person. All of the people of Israel will hear about it. And they will be afraid to disobey their parents.
Some direct quotes from scripture: obeying parents
Clearly, then, these things are not to be trivialized or taken lightly. In fact, it is more than just some vague notion of honor or respect that we are called to give our parents – we are called to obey them:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
1 Children, obey your parents as believers in the Lord. Obey them because it’s the right thing to do. 2 Scripture says, “Honor your father and mother.” That is the first commandment that has a promise. 3 “Then things will go well with you. You will live a long time on the earth.”
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Children, obey your parents in everything. That pleases the Lord.
This is the testimony of scripture.